July 18th, 2018
Today, I’m talking about copywriting again, specifically service descriptions and that what is most often put out there is in no way convincing anyone to book that service with you.
If you’re new to this whole copywriting thing, be sure to check out the video from a couple weeks ago about the 4 biggest copywriting mistakes massage therapists are making. I go into exactly what copywriting is in the first minute or so. Service description copy can be so freaking boring. But it shouldn’t be! I mean, this is what you’re selling. These are the words that are meant to express how awesome this service is going to feel and make a client want to book with you right that very minute.
So why are we doing things like this… “Swedish massage is the baseline massage technique used in most massage sessions. It consists of long flowing strokes called effleurage, some petrissage (kneading), and sometimes tapotement (tapping or light percussion.) The overall objective of Swedish is to relax and soften tissue.” That’s straight from an ABMP template. Or one from AMTA: “Swedish Massage is a very relaxing and therapeutic style of bodywork. It combines an array of strokes such as effleurage (long flowing strokes) and petrissage (milking and squeezing strokes) to help the body improve circulation. The benefits of this type of bodywork are wide-ranging and include relief from aches and pains, decreased stress levels in the body, enhanced mental clarity, improved appearance, greater flexibility and a sense of well-being.” Holy crap those are boring! While they kind of get the job done as far as telling somebody a little about what to expect, they don’t sell squat.
So here’s 3 tips on writing effective service descriptions.
#1: USE THE WORD ‘YOU’
When you’re writing any sort of service description, it needs to feel like you’re just talking to your potential client. Like you’re just giving them the overall view of what THEY will get out of it. I’ve talked before about focusing on benefits instead of features, and this goes hand-in-hand with that. Using the word ‘you’ and focusing all of your attention on that potential client as it relates to the service is going to work so much better than some detailed description that reads like a dictionary.
#2: FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AND/OR BENEFIT IN THE FIRST FEW WORDS
Most people aren’t going to read more than a few words before they decide if something is definitely NOT for them, or still holds some possibility and they’ll continue on. So you have to grab their attention in those first few words. You do that by speaking to the most important thing; the solution you’re offering or the problem you’re solving. If you can resonate with them by immediately saying this service can help their problem, they’re halfway sold already.
#3: SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE
They don’t care about effleurage, petrissage or any other technique or modality term. It means nothing to them. Write how they speak. In all your copywriting, you need to come across as a real person. People don’t connect with corporate-speak, but they will connect with a small business owner who lets their personality shine through and just speaks to them like a normal person. So here’s a couple of examples to show you what I’m talking about… “Whether you sit at a desk all day or you’re constantly on the go, daily life can wreak havoc on the body; and while you may try to stretch and move throughout your day to combat it, sometimes you can’t help but feel tense, stiff, and stressed – physically and emotionally. This massage will help to relax those aching muscles and melt that stress away. Pressure and focus areas are always customized to give you the most benefit in the time you choose.” Or how about this: “While pregnancy is a beautiful thing, it can also be a pain in the butt; figuratively and literally. Between sciatic pain, SI joint pain, low back pain, restless legs, fatigue, swelling and any number of other side effects of this otherwise amazing journey, it can be hard to find something that eases all of it. Our prenatal massages are designed with this in mind, giving you a retreat to relax while getting the therapeutic work your body so desperately needs throughout every stage of pregnancy to give you relief from those constant aches and pains.”
So take these tips and start working up some new service descriptions. Stop with the boring stuff and start putting some personality and originality into it. Remember, these are just people who need some help. Tell them how you can help them!
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